


You Were Supposed To Be My Light

by AsterAspera



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Good Parent Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Good Parent Jaskier | Dandelion, Good Parent Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, How Do I Tag, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Kinda, Multi, One Shot, Soft Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Soft Jaskier | Dandelion, Soft Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Songfic, This has probably been done before
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:13:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23672125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsterAspera/pseuds/AsterAspera
Summary: For once his back didn’t ache, his old scars didn’t pull with every movement, his feet weren’t covered in blisters. He realized how tired he was of his life on the road, he wanted to settle down. Get a cottage by the sea. He wanted to play Yennefer songs by the fire without the pressure of having to earn coin. He wanted to be able to spend lazy mornings in bed with his lovers. He wanted to take Ciri to the market and teach her how to bake bread.~Jaskier realizes he is growing old and contemplates how his family will cope with him aging and dying.
Relationships: Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon & Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg
Comments: 4
Kudos: 121





	You Were Supposed To Be My Light

**Author's Note:**

> The song used is 'Welly Boots' by The Amazing Devil. I've been listening to their new album on repeat the last few days and it inspired this. This is my first fanfic, so if you notice any mistakes please feel free to point them out to me. I hope you enjoy and if you do please leave kudos or comments, I would greatly appreciate them.

Jaskier idly strummed his lute as he sat by the campfire. Snippets of songs drifted through his head and he let his fingers wander over the strings. As he sung he watched Geralt teach Ciri how to make the White honey potion. Next to him Yennefer was trying to read a book in the waning evening light, twisting herself awkwardly so the light from the campfire could reach the pages. She noticed him staring and shot him a warm smile. A warm feeling curled up in his belly. He felt content in a way he had never imagined he would feel. He never thought he would someday have a family, definitely not one like this. These three headstrong, powerful people who somehow saw him as an equal. As someone who was welcome to stand beside them instead of cowering in their shadow. They were all so strong and terrifying and he was just a bard. 

Yennefer finally gave up on reading her book and stood up. She grabbed a blanket from her bedroll, sat herself down next to him and draped the blanket over them both. She didn’t cuddle often, but over time she seemed to appreciate it more. He relished in her casual touch and the warmth of the blanket. The cold made his limbs ache and he found himself enjoying the warmth his companions gave him all the more. 

_'Cause when it's cold_

_I'll wrap my scarf around you_

Geralt and Ciri finished their lesson and wandered over to them. Geralt gave Jaskier a soft kiss on his brow before settling in next to Yennefer. Jaskier slung an arm over Ciri when she sat down on the ground next to him. She quickly curled up into his side. They stayed like that for awhile, just soaking up each others company. Their family may have been forged in the fires of war but they had found peace in each other’s arms. They all bore the scars of their pasts but they had slowly learned how to comfort each other, how to soothe the pain and chase away the terror.

_And when it's hard_

_I'll place your head into my hands_

He nuzzled his nose into Ciri’s soft hair and she ducked her head away from him, her nose wrinkling. She always pretended she was too old for his affections but he knew she secretly enjoyed it. She reminded him a little of Geralt, in the years they had travelled together before they had confessed their feelings to each other. He had always shied away from the casual touch Jaskier was so used to giving. It took him years to get used to Jaskier slinging an arm around his shoulder, to trust him with washing his hair. 

_And when you scream that it's not fair_

_It's like I've gone off to the coast_

He looked down at her, noticing the way the light of the fire reflected off her hair. “My beautiful daughter” He thought fondly. The thought took him by surprise. He had never thought about Ciri in that way. He had joked about Geralt and Yennefer acting like her parents but had never seen himself as one of them. Now he realized how right it felt. _His daughter_ the thought filled him with a giddy happiness. He remembered playing at the Cintran court when she was younger, how she attached herself to him and trailed him around the palace, how she pestered him for stories about his witcher. He knew Calanthe would have had his head if she had found out but he told her the stories anyways. He found it impossible to say no to the young girl. He wished he could have spent more time with her at court, when she was a young excitable girl but he hadn’t wanted to leave Geralt’s side for too long, lest he ask questions about what he did in those rare times he was away from him. 

_Left you behind just standing there_

_Pretending not to see your ghost_

She was always angry when he had to leave. Demanding he stay, stomping her foot and raging, it broke his heart every time he left her. Now, he was so proud of the strong young woman she had grown up to be. He had watched her grow up from afar, not wanting to interfere with the upbringing of Geralt’s child surprise. He knew he had no claim on the child but now he had the chance to be there for her. To be her father. He had never thought he would have a child, had always joked he would make a horrible father. He wasn’t responsible, had a tendency to get himself in trouble, but he didn’t have to navigate the struggles of parenthood alone. He had Yennefer and Geralt to help him out and while they may not be any better at this than him, he could see how much they wanted this. Together they would figure it out.

_If only you could hear my voice_

_But you are screaming far too loud to hear me, swear_

_Just because I left doesn't mean that I'm not still there_

They picked up their speed while traveling, eager to get to Kaer Morhen before the weather made the witcher’s trail too difficult to cross with three horses. They were camping just a few miles from the last town before the mountains. Tomorrow they would head into the mountains and if everything went well they would be in Kaer Morhen by week’s end. Jaskier for one, was looking forward to a real bed and a chance to relax for a few months. He couldn’t deny that the constant travelling was starting to wear on him. He was nearing half a century of age and while he had definitely retained his youthful looks, thanks to his careful skincare routine, his body was starting to disagree with this lifestyle. It scared him sometimes, the thought that he would not be able to follow his witcher anymore. He contemplated what he would do, when he did decide to settle down, maybe take up his old teaching position at Oxenfurt or buy a cottage by the coast. Either way he knew Geralt wouldn’t want to stay for long, he was too restless, couldn’t stay in one place for more than a few months. He hoped Yennefer would stay with him though, she didn’t enjoy life on the road quite as much as the rest of them, he was sure she would relish the chance to settle down for a few years. He hoped that Geralt would make an effort to come home to them every once in a while, make wherever they decided to settle down his home base. Jaskier didn’t want to make his lover feel trapped, he respected his wanderlust, his desire to keep moving, but he hoped that they could find a way to make it work. It was a comfort to know he would still have his family even when he couldn’t keep up with them anymore. Ciri snapped him out of his brooding, demanding he play her something. Smiling, he grabbed his lute and settled himself in front of the fire. Geralt looked up from where he was skinning a rabbit for dinner and moved a little closer to the fire, to better enjoy the show. Yennefer sat down next to Ciri, abandoning the herbs she had been grinding. Satisfied that he had his audience’s attention, Jaskier strummed his lute and launched into a song that had been bouncing around in his head for awhile. He had written it for Ciri but also for Geralt and Yennefer. He didn’t want to sing the whole song right now, scared of ruining the good mood that had settled over their family. The song was quite dark. He decided to sing the two verses he had written for Ciri, they were innocent enough.

_I get to watch you grow up now_

_And make me proud_

_Make all of the mistakes that make me laugh_

_Oh darling lord how you make me laugh_

_Get drunk for me, sing louder than you've sung for me_

_Grow young each time that thunder in_

_Your lungs begins to rumble at the world_

Ciri looked at him with wonder in her eyes when she realized who the song was about. It was the first time he expressed his affections for her like this. He had never told her how proud he was of her, how much he had enjoyed watching her grow up and be a part of her life. He winked at her and launched into the second verse.

_'Cause you were always strong_

_When you were young, you'd kick things just to see if they would fall_

_They said 'that girl she's wrong'_

_But I'll stick up for you_

_Even though you haven't got a clue_

_You haven't got a fucking clue_

She frowned, looking confused at the last two sentences. He had expected that reaction. Those lines didn’t make sense if you didn’t know the rest of the song, but he didn’t feel much like singing about him dying and leaving them behind. Because that was what the song was about. He wasn’t delusional, he knew his lovers would live far longer than he would. He knew he would be the first of their family to leave this world. He tried not to dwell on those thoughts too long but lately they had been plaguing him more persistently. He was scared of dying, yes but he was more scared of how his family would handle it. None of them were very good at coping with their feelings in a healthy way. He brushed away the thoughts of his ever nearing end and launched into a new version of her sweet kiss. He was rewarded with a bright laugh from Yennefer and a chuckle from Geralt. 

The time spent at Kaer Morhen was a relief. The longer he spent here the more aware he became that maybe it was time to settle down. For once his back didn’t ache, his old scars didn’t pull with every movement, his feet weren’t covered in blisters. He realized how tired he was of his life on the road, he wanted to settle down. Get a cottage by the sea. He wanted to play Yennefer songs by the fire without the pressure of having to earn coin. He wanted to be able to spend lazy mornings in bed with his lovers. He wanted to take Ciri to the market and teach her how to bake bread. 

_And I'm so proud of you_

_And when they laugh at us_

_You'll feel my fingers down your back_

He knew Geralt wouldn’t like it. He wasn’t one for settling down, claiming witchers never retired, but gods how he just wanted a home. Four walls filled with the smell of bread and the warmth of the hearth, filled with his music and their laughter. That’s what he wanted his legacy to be, a place where his family felt safe. He wanted to build them a home so that instead of remembering his aging body, the pain of watching him age, they would remember the cookies he had baked them and the songs he had sung, even when his voice cracked on the harder notes.

_And when you scream I'm not alright_

_And throw my picture at the wall_

They wouldn’t be okay when he died. He didn’t want to leave, he wanted to stay by their side for as long as they lived, to sing them songs and soothe their pain but he knew nothing could slow the passing of time, the failing of his body. He had asked Yennefer once, years ago, when it wasn’t the three of them yet. She had looked at him, gentle for once and told him that even for a sorceress as powerful as her it was impossible. He had accepted her answer and abandoned that train of thought. He couldn’t help but wish for a few more years though. Just to spend in blissful peace with his lovers, a few more years to watch Ciri grow, maybe even to meet his grandchildren. A human lifetime was so unbearably short. 

_You were supposed to be my light_

_And keep me safe against them all_

He wanted to stay, as their light, as their one constant in this tumbling chaos of a world. He couldn’t keep them safe from the monsters they faced on the battlefield but he could keep them safe from the monsters that plagued their thoughts. He knew just how to comfort Ciri after a nightmare, how to draw Yennefer out of her sulking, how to comfort Geralt when he couldn’t save everyone.

_How could you leave me here you'll scream_

_And louder, I'll scream back to you from that unknown_

_And say_

But they had each other and though he knew it would be hard on them he was sure that together they would manage. After all it wasn’t like he was dead and buried yet. He still had quite a few years left and he intended to make the best of them. If not following his witcher around the continent then at least somewhere peaceful where he could settle down with his sorceress and witcher. It would take some getting used to but he was confident they would figure it out. He would bring it up sometime this winter, his desire to settle down. For tonight, he decided, he would enjoy their familiar rhythm. Yennefer and Ciri sitting on rugs by the fire and Geralt nuzzled up next to him. He ran his hands through his lover’s hair, enjoying how soft and fluffy it felt. Geralt eyes lazily blinked open and he gifted him with a soft smile. As always, his heart fluttered when those golden eyes focused on him and he leant down and pressed a soft kiss onto his lover’s lips. Yennefer sauntered over to them and dropped herself into Geralt’s lap. He wrapped an arm around her waist while she leant forward to press a long kiss to Jaskier’s lips. He sighed, content, surrounded by his family. 

_I know you're strong enough to do this on your_

_Strong enough to do this on your_

_Strong enough to do this on your own_


End file.
